We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
