and my herpes radar will keep us safe
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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