Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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