i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
