She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
