did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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