I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
