I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
