Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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