i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
