If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
