During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
