Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
