Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
