you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
