I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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