I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sobbing to NWA
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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