Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
