i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
