He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
