All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
