is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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