Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i came on her dog
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize