You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
