He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize