NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
