**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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