Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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