Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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