If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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