hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize