His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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