exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
