I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
