Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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