sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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