let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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