Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
