I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
