He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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