cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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