Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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