Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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