Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
