I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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