Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
