I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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