In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
