i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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