my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize