Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
