omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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