I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she peed on how many people?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize